two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
