I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
