I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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