He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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