Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
