Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
