You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
