Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
