marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
