You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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