Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
