Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
