i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
