is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
