these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
