I showed him my bush... on skype.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
