I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
