you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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