As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize