So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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