Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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