why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
