My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
