I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We got so high we made milksteak
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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