tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
