Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
