he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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