My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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