Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
