return my video game
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
