I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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