Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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