I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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