Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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