I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
