At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
