she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
