Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
