I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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