Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
