Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize