gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
