Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
