i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
