My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
