I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
