She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
