Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
