yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
