he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize