Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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