Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
