i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
