My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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