all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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