youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
