just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
