plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
