is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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