I'm gonna have a badass scar
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
