I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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