pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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