I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize