I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
