Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
