when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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