they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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